From the inbox this morning: a hilarious list made by freak-folkie Wooden Wand, of the extremely prolific Wooden Wand and the Vanishing Voice.


Top 10 Misconceptions and Things You Didn’t Know About Wooden Wand.

10. Wooden Wand’s move to Tennessee from New York was merely a lifestyle choice and had nothing to do with his work. It has had no bearing on his music what-so-ever, so please quit asking. People move - it's not a big deal.

09. He does not, at present time, practice any particular religion exclusively. He considers himself a Zen nihilist barbarian.

08. He listens to a lot more Steely Dan than Pink Floyd, and doesn't much care for Skip Spence's solo work at all.

07. He is an avid gun enthusiast, and is a life member of both the National Rifle Association and Gun Owners of America.

06. He is often criticized for releasing too much music, but certain bands have released many more 'official' releases in as much time without the critical scrutiny heaped upon our humble hero Wand. Besides, no one said you had to buy all the records. Wand believes that being a musician and writing and releasing a mere ten songs a year is like being a carpenter and taking a decade to erect a birdhouse. His words, not ours, so please don't hate us, Scott Walker or Kate Bush. Y’all are great.

05. He is happily married to the goddess Satya Sai of the Vanishing Voice, who, by the way, does 90% of the vocals in said band, despite what most reviews claim, and is, FYI, the 'girl' on the cover of Hush Arbors' recent “messterpiece” Landscape of Bone.

04. His extended family includes late actor Vincent Gardenia, Chicago Cubs general manager (and former Met) Ed Lynch, “Desperate Housewives”’ Andrea Bowen, and Type-O Negative's Peter Steele.

03. He shares little of the flawed utopian philosophies of his immediate contemporaries. He does not eat hummus and, on most days, he really doesn't much give a shit where you drill.

02. He's been considering writing a novel and has recently switched from bourbon to tequila for this upcoming tour.

01. Scott Ian of Anthrax once lectured a 12-year-old Wand that he was “too young to be smoking joints.” He was right. (They totally got high together anyway).